BBLA
by Shooby
Summary: Lina makes a pitstop on her way to Sairaag to rescue Gourry.


Standard Disclaimer: I claim no rights to the characters of Slayers. I own only the plot (though really that's kind of shared with lightdragon1987)

* * *

The room was large, like an auditorium. There was a long table piled with snacks and drinks pushed up against the back wall, including a carafe filled with hot coffee despite the late hour. A wooden podium stood atop a small dais in the front of the room, facing a few dozen chairs and quite a few more anxious faces. The meeting was packed, and some people had to squat in the aisle or lean up against a wall. One man leaned casually against the entrance, covering the sign that designated the room for what it was. The sign read "BBLA" with no further explanation.

A sea of faces waited anxiously for the meeting to begin. Most of them were men with rough, unshaven faces and torn clothing. Others were dressed nicer, with clean robes and scented oil in their hair. And some were not even human—chimeras, werewolves, dragons, and fish-men all sat in civility. They had all united for a single reason, a very similar humility.

"I'd like to call this meeting to order," a booming voice rang out from the podium, his arms in the air with his palms flat and outward signaling a desire for silence. "I'd like to welcome you all to another meeting of the BBLA. We're all here for the same reason, so please don't be shy or embarrassed. We're here to support you, not to make fun of you. My name is Dilgear and I'm the founder of this organization."

"Hi, Dilgear," the audience rang out together.

"First of all, old business," Dilgear continued, placing his paws upon the podium for support, "I'm afraid that, in light of recent events, we have yet again abandoned our plans for revenge."

The faces fell in disappointment, soft sighs escaping their mouths.

"I know, I know," the half-breed muttered, "But it is just no longer plausible. Does anyone have any new business?"

A short, plump man raised his hand, waving it frantically.

"Yes?" Dilgear asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, I'd like to--"

"Would you like to stand to address all of us?" his voice was mocking despite his earlier claim.

"Err, well, you see..." the man began, running a nervous hand across his bald head, "I'm afraid that I am unable to stand at this time."

"Why is that?"

"Because my lower half is encompassed in stone," the man muttered bitterly, "All because of that witch!"

Dilgear snickered. He was quite aware of the man's situation. He just enjoyed seeing him sweat. "Very well, very well, continue."

"Well, yes," the man seemed to relax, his mustache twitching as his mouth curved into a smile, "I'd just like to announce to the group my candidacy for representative..."

The audience groaned, interrupting the man's speech.

"Hasn't he learned by now?" a voice murmured, a person near him giggled.

The man shut his mouth with a snap.

"Well, if that's all," Dilgear sneered, "Do we have any new members?"

The room was silent for a few moments, the rustling of papers and a sneeze the only interruptions. Finally, a squat man with dirty, torn clothing and a gold hoop in his ear stood. He wore no shirt, but only roughed up trousers and a shaggy vest and bandanna. He walked cautiously to the podium, where Dilgear waited.

"Go on," the werewolf-ogre urged him forward, "Introduce yourself. Tell us what brought you here." He left the dais, sitting in a chair in the front row.

When the man reached the podium he stood frozen for a moment, before coughing nervously and smiling, revealing a few prominently missing teeth.

"Hello," he began slowly, "My name is Gray and I've been Beaten By Lina."

"Hi, Gray," the audience chimed in unison.

"I was in a bandit group, a couple of my friends from the old days and I decided to join up when things got tough," he started his story, encouraged by the friendly faces, "It was called The Super Nasty Guys," he nodded to himself, as though proud. "We were really starting to make a name for ourselves. We were gettin' tough and started to get real good at snatching coin purses. Well, one day one of my buddies decided that this little red-headed kid would make an easy target and he went after her and well..." he scratched the back of his head, embarrassed, "The purse was on a string and the string was on Lina Inverse." His eyes began to tear up as he finished his story, "She fireballed us into the next town and then came right on after us. She didn't let up until she thought we were at least maimed. I had burns on my butt," he sniffled, "I couldn't sit down for a month."

He took a deep breath as the audience applauded him for his effort.

"I ran into her again a few weeks ago," Gray muttered, "And she didn't even give me a second glance. I don't think she recognized me." He looked thoughtful for a moment, and the sorrow never left his eyes, "I'm not sure how that makes me feel."

Gray muttered quietly to himself as he stepped down from the podium, a spattering of applause following him back to his seat.

"Thank you, Gray," Dilgear's voice rang out as he once again approached the podium, "Do we have any other new members?"

"I'd like to speak!"

The group turned their heads to look toward the doorway in horror. There, in all her petite glory, stood Lina Inverse.

They waited, holding their collective breath, not daring to move an inch.

"Boo."

They ran, terror shining brilliantly in their eyes and screams of agony ripping from their throats as they tore through walls to escape a confrontation with the bandit-killer, Lina Inverse.

After only a few moments the room was empty, leaving the petite redhead standing there, a triumphant look on her face.

"Can we go now, Lina?" Zelgadiss questioned from the shadows, the impatience clearly etched in his voice.

Lina glanced at him with a sad smile, "Yeah, we can go. Thanks for the pit-stop."

The two exited the room, Lina tearing down the sign on the door with a heavy sigh.

"We'll get him back, Lina," Zel muttered, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. They walked into the darkness, the night hiding their expressions with the moon covered in ominous clouds. "And in the meantime," he continued, casting her a sadistic smile, "I hear there's another one of these things in a town a day or two outside of Sairaag."

Lina nodded. "Hey, Zel?" she finally asked after a few moments.

"Yeah?" he looked at her expectantly. He knew that she wasn't one to open up, but with dire times such as these, he hoped that she could talk to him about her fears.

Lina took a deep breath, her eyes raised to the sky and her shoulders tight with anticipation.

"Who was that wolf-ogre guy?"

Somewhere, as far away from the meeting room as he had managed to run, Dilgear fell face-first in indignation.

* * *

Author's Notes:

This basically started out with my friend Shannon and I joking about a "Lina Anonymous" type of group. I'm not quite sure how the conversation led to that...

The character Gray and his bandit group were of my own creation.

This story also takes place while Lina and the gang are traveling to Sairaag to rescue Gourry. Obviously, anime-based and a little off considering that Zel is the only one with her. Let's just say that they split up for a few hours, eh?

Thank you Shannon (aka lightdragon1987) for helping me to come up with this plot. And thank you to masochistic bandits that want Lina to remember the ass-kicking, rather than run away like the little cowards they are.

Oh and, as always, unedited.


End file.
